BREAKING: The Wizarding World reaches America

This. is. huge.

JK Rowling, whose Wizarding World was based in England and all of its attendees spoke in british accents, has addressed its beta-English speakers. As in... America.

For her latest installment, the so-called prequel "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them," NEWT Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) is based in NYC where they use a different word for non-magical folk. Instead of a muggle, in the boroughs and beyond we call a person void of magical powers a "no-maj."

In reading this, I almost slapped myself in the face and said "DUH" this is something that sounds so incredibly American and apparent. Quite literally, a person with "no magic." Thanks JK, for making us ever so much less eloquent but even more endearing. I dig it. 

Celebrities were best before we knew them

As somewhat of a social media afficionada, it may come across slightly hypocrytical to be posting yet again about what's wrong with so much sharing. As a writer, I am ready and willing to defend my stand.

When the term "web" was just what our repulsive little 8-legged friends spun, people gave eachother their numbers, made phone calls to house phones and went on dates to movie theatres. On screen were these untouchable deities, creating magic on a screen. They were actual "stars" - comparable to the confusing gasseous flickers in the night sky that were so far out of reach but still so fascinating. This was why they were alluring.

Yes, most of them had terrible philandrous habits. Yes more often than not they died young of overdose or suicide. But to the masses, they were impeccable beings.

The truth in the inspiration behind this ramble is that, being so connected to my own social media, I am constantly reading and being forced to digest personal things about celebrities that I like, and in some cases revere. Gwen Stefani is in the hot-seat for canoodling with Blake Shelton after both of their divorces; Justin Bieber was seen smoking cigarettes at a party and this is speculatively connected to his past misdeameanors. What is really standing out for me is Quentin Tarantino's recent voice about police brutality, that he says is being spun to demonise him. 

As an avid fan of Tarantino movies, there was nothing I was looking forward to more this Christmas than the release of The Hateful Eight. Now, because he chose to come down from his throne and join a march against police, people are upset about his stance and wondering why he would make such waves so close to the release of his 8th movie. Instead of just wanting to see the man's work which I respect so much, it is almost making a "political" statement to support the man behind it. 

Law enforcement agencies have since called for a boycott of his movie next month as a way to fight back against his comment that "he has to call the murderers murderers."

Tarantino spoke to the LA Times to set the record straight, saying he did not say nor imply that all cops are murderers, and that he will not be intimidated by the threat of  boycotts. But what about those of us who don't want to get in the middle and just want to respect him for the director he is rather than his social and political stances? Can I be a fan of his work and his dynasty without having to also adopt his beliefs?

The hard part about this separation is that, because of how publicised celebrity moves are, the separation is a very thin, very fine line. Instead of being able to discuss "Tarantino" as a filmmaker, his name is currently in conversation as an activist. There seems to be a thinning out of the fictional worlds we see created and the ones we live in. Generally speaking, it seems now that when we sign up to stand by someone who we respect for their trade, it comes with a binding contract that we must also stand by their beliefs.

There's a limit to the magic made now because the creators walk among us. There used to be a rule for dinner parties: don't talk about religion or politics. Unfortunately, now it is all blending. The category of filmmaking as entertainment, at least in the case of Tarantino, just got squeezed into the conversation of politics.

Should Tarantino, like any other artist, be able to hold and support his own beliefs? Absolutely. Should I  have to take a stance with or against him in order to enjoy his work? I hope not. 

Captain's Log Week One: Solitude

It has officially been one week that I have been out of work.

For as long as I remember, I have had part time jobs, throughout the summer and during school and college. After college, I was hired a recruitment agency for a temporary position, killed it, and was hired full time.

I say that I killed it only because that's how I have always been: I came hot out of the gates with a burning desire to reach the end before I have a look around and realize what I might be tearing up on the course before the finish line.

This job was a dream. I was arriving every day in the wondrous Grand Central Station, swiping into my office building and being shot up to the 22nd floor where the music was always playing, people were always friendly, and there was a keg waiting for us on Friday afternoons, yes, in the middle of the office.

SO WHAT COULD BE WRONG WITH THAT?

A lot. I was so enchanted by my co-workers and the friendships I had developed with them that I forgot: I'm a writer. I'm a creator. I'm an explorer. I'm spending the bulk of my waking hours doing a job that I feel no immediate attachment to, just so I could be part of the crew that I had learned to love so much and pay my student loans. I felt devoted to my supervisors, and a true duty to my friends to be there - but this isn't college, this isn't summer camp, this is adulthood. "My Career"- the very thing that I apparently paid tens of thousands of dollars to my university for.

So I left my easy-enough, money-providing, free-drinks job so I could find what I want to do.

First stop: unemployment.

I continued to wake up, each day of the week, around 7 o'clock.

I read two full novels, watched the entire first season of True Detective, half of Orange Is The New Black: Season 1, ran 5 miles, went up about two shades of sun-bathed tan, enrolled to an online course for Teaching English as a Second Language, filed for unemployment, and cried.

It's hard going from part of the normal grain to sitting all alone, staring out your front door with a cup of coffee for an hour. It's FOMO to the max. But ultimately, it's a sacrifice.

MORAL to all those who are unhappy: I haven't figured out yet what I want to do or what I should be doing. But the first step was tough: I knew what it was I was doing every day was not it.

Also a bonus: Most every single one of my friends who I left at the office, including some that I thought were poor at keeping in touch, have kept touch.

Week one recap:
Still have friends
Lots of alone time
Lots of sun-bathing
A lot less stress
A lot to still search for...

The Viper and The Mountain and the Emotions

I found myself on a twitter rant of this week's episode "The Mountain and the Viper" so I thought it would be best to take to a longer form of expression. Because that's what women do. We talk about our feelings... or slaughter men over them.

This was the theme I picked up from this episode. It was heavily run by women, regardless of our all-star match up in the ring (that we had to wait until the final 5 minutes for -_-). Let me explain...

The episode's open features a very drunken no-name broad who was burping tunes for her men friends to guess. One man immediately guessed "The Rains of Castamere" and from that moment, fans, we should have known what this hour would bring us.

ENTER YGRITTE: our firey ginger friend who placed her faith in Jon Snow only to be left to her wildling, ahem excuse me, "Free People"tribe who ensured her she'd be in biiiiiiig trouble of Jon Snow wasn't actually dead as she had reported. Maybe she didn't kill him, but she's certainly taking out her rage on the whole of Mole's Town.

EXCEPT FOR our friend Gilly and baby Sam whom Ygritte found mercy for, even in her blood thirsty, broken hearted fury. Point one for the girls.

Next stop is the Eyrie, where our weasley dude Lord Baelish has some questions to answer about the fallen (see what I did there?) Lysa Arryn. Though Lysa's stroll through the moon door may seem like a point against the females here, it got Sansa to shed her snake skin and reveal how capable she also is of being sneaky like, and even for, Baelish. I'm reluctant to give her a point because I find it quite creepy that Littlefinger's trying to get his hands on the whole family, and Sansa's only 14, but when she stepped out triumphantly in her raven dressed she didn't look too against it. And she's alive.

As is Arya! As if there were ever any doubt, but she gets a BONUS POINT for finding something to actually laugh about in this world. I must say, I've always sort of rooted for the Hound for some strange reason, but his infected neck wound and now this botched mission to get paid in exchange for one of the last Stark children is slowly but surely tearing him down.

Over the Narrow Sea, we have our most complex chick yet. Our Khaleesi who has certainly grown in many ways (is she merciful? is she losing sight of her true mission?) and has just broke up with two major dudes. She sent Daario Naharis packing, but only to benefit her rule, and now that we know Jorah has been Varys' little bird this whole time, she won't even give him a moment to speak in private. OUCH. Girl Power at its finest though. How dare that two-timing Wall surrenderer try his luck again? He don't have to go home but he sure can't stay here. If he doesn't have the Lannisters paying his bills in exchange for info, where in the seven kingdoms is he headed?

That's not concern of Khaleesi's. One point for her for kicking dudes to the curb and still having a solid posse. So we have one point for Khaleesi, one for Sansa, one for Ygritte, two for Arya, and as Tyrion patiently awaits his "trial" in a cell, we must not forget the wrath that is Cersei Lannister-Baratheon-(Tyrell?) who put him there. If we go back far enough, we can bring Joanna Lannister in here, the mother of the twins and the imp, a.k.a. the most loved man to ever walk the face of this planet, whether it be in the real world or the fictitious Westeros. Is this some kind of sick karma finally coming his way?

Nah. There were other girl probz he's faced since the death of his mother. One word: Shae. He did everything he could and more to make Shae happy and safe, and she came back onto the scene as none other then Team Cersei.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

There is more to this saga than just Joffrey's death. Don't us forget the Oberyn was so willing to kill the Mountain to hear his sister's name finally spoken and avenged. What's interesting about this is he got the Mountain on his back but couldn't shut up or swallow his pride; an absolute perfect parallel to Tyrion whose trial it is after all. How fitting that his contender is just as stubborn as he?

But we knew Oberyn had personal motives. Everyone's fighting for a dame somewhere. Buuuut, mostly everyone is losing.

So who really gets the points for Oberyn's face obliteration? Cersei is the obvious front-runner, since she had been waiting her entire life to have her "monster" brother killed, even though she probably didn't want it to be for regicide of her sadistic son-king. Is it Shae, then, who definitely has a case of the crazy ex-girlfriend if-I-can't-have-you-then-you-must-dies?

Cersei may have had her moment this week after hearing her father proclaim her brother would die. But the person who just died so that Tyrion would die is the Prince of Dorne, the country that OH YEAH.... has her daughter.

I don't know ladies and gents. They call her the Mother of Madness, and as we look at history, things don't always fair well for our Mad friends.

Also, if I gave the nod to Cersei on behalf of the ladies, I'd subtract one from the board for Ellaria Sand, Oberyn's woman, whom he promised to not leave alone in this world but uh, did.

So though things really aren't fairing well for many of our men, the ladies are pulling all the strings.

As for Tyrion, I absolutely refuse to believe he's about to die. All Men Must Die, but even Grand Maester Pycelle couldn't actually refer to Tyrion as a "man."

Maybe I'm being overly optimistic.

Oh I certainly am, but there are two episodes left to get Tyrion on a boat somewhere. Maybe to meet up with his wife so she doesn't shack up with Littlefinger. eek.

Ode to the recent unemployed college grads

When you wake up the day after your graduation, you still have that glow. Not because you drank from your last keg to celebrate (as I fell asleep after graduation to recuperate from my senior week of debauchery) but because you're still getting flooded the picture notifications, congratulations, and even the prospect of more card$.

You have money to blow on a bag that bag online that was just way too much. Now, get the wallet too.

You have an excuse to go out and get belligerent from the flood of free drinks at the bar just for saying "I graduated college."

You are free to plan trips to the beach, to Six Flags, to fucking DISNEY WORLD because you don't have any assignments due anymore!

But then, slowly but surely, family and friends begin reminding you why your'e here in the first place. I'm talking about the dreaded question: "So now what?"

And the glow starts to feel more like a red hot flame on your face when you have to admit: "I don't know."

My advice, as a fellow currently unemployed undergraduate is that you don't have to know. Success stories, as we all know, are those that don't run smoothly and are met with a lot of defeat along the way and blah blah blahhdeh blah...

But stay focused. It's okay to celebrate another friend who got their job lined up but don't meet them everyday for happy hour because now you're just making their success story richer and yours farther away (because you know there will never be a much poorer time than now).

6 MONTHS. That's the golden window. Don't let anyone worry you, you're gonna worry enough yourself. But all the worrying I've been doing for the past semester suddenly vanished a week after graduation. I know I don't have a job, but when I look at all the schmucks out there who do I know I will get one. Not by going out and partying, but by going out and experiencing things. Trying to find, maybe something that I hadn't discovered before, may be the actual place to start my career. My diploma isn't an end-all tell-all to what I'll be doing. I have to find it while keeping my head above water, but I have to give it time.

Grammy tweets, go long

The biggest night in music.

And Pharrell's biggest hat.

It promised to be one of surprises and "ground breaking moments." I mean, I guess.

I tweeted my way through the whole show but upon reflection, it deserves a little more.

So, cat's out of the bag now, let's just start by saying DAFT PUNK CLEANED HOUSE. In addition to their three helmet changes they have four little golden horns. Regardless of all of the glory they assumed, one thing shadowed their fame: Pharell's hat. For as much attention as they bring upon themselves by wearing full robot suits, Pharrell still spoke on behalf of them for all the awards they won together, and even separately.

Pharrell's hat was surely the biggest moment of the night but certainly not the most groundbreaking.

Right after his hat was introduced on the red carpet Madonna stepped onto the scene sporting a full suit along with her son, David. We knew then that we were certainly in for some type of treat.

The first jaw-dropping, perhaps brow-furrowing moment was when Lorde took the stage for "Royals." As prefaced by her backdrop of stone angels, her performance was demon-driven as her black ink-dipped fingers curled into claws as she slouched her way through a stationary sing-along. Honestly, give the girl a chance, she's 17 and from the Netherlands.

And everyone knows her! Unlike the following performance, all be it touching and moving, by Hunter Hayes, that distracted the crowd from asking who he was by displaying quotes by much more famous people behind him. Lady Gaga wasn't there, but she still had her moment on screen with the quote "There really is no difference between the bully and the victim."

This set the tone for the night. There was another quick demon-worshiping session by devout California Catholic (?), Katy Perry. It was an act of dark horses turning juicy, pole dancing on broom sticks, and of course red breast crosses.

Winners of most of the awards and all of the talk.
@PharrellHat ft. Daft Punk

Taylor Swift gave the crowd a nice break from the explosives and devil worship by sitting behind the piano in an absolutely, admittedly, stunning gown and playing her nice little song "All Too Well." It was a bittersweet remembering of all the little heartbreak deaths we've all experienced.

Then she started head banging.

Still couldn't even begin to fill in Pharrell's hat.

The song was beautiful, and T Swift certainly made a splash, but didn't let the light leave her.

During arguably the BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT, as Kendrick Lamar used every last breathe to spit out his lines alongside a soon to be covered in red dust Imagine Dragons, she flailed along in the front row like a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man.

But really, Kendrick and Imagine Dragons-- let's talk for a second. It was the punk. It was hip-hop. It was rock. It was fun. As a good friend of mine tweeted during the mini-show, "If you have Steven Tyler singing along you did something right."

Steven Tyler you say? WHY YES. And he wasn't the only glory-day rocker in the crowd. He was joined by none other than Ringo Star and Sir Paul McCartney. As if that wasn't enough, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic, Metallica, and even Nine Inch Nails were there.

All the while, Pharrell's hat stood tall and strong.

Oh and there was a little South of the Border performance by some random girl in light up cowboy boots. Still don't know if her song about shooting arrows was about, so I'm just gonna skip that until I can let it sink in and maybe even rewatch the show.

When McCartney and Starr did get on stage though, the entire house got up to jam along. Most importantly, Yoko Ono shows us all how to properly dance to quality material by legends.

So I think, this is just a hunch, that the big moment of the night was when Macklemore sang "Same Love," which already has everyone in emotional stitches. Remember when I said this heart-wrenching anti-bully stuff set the mood? Well Macklemore and Co. hit the peak. Queen Latifah, who is apparently also Reverend Latifah, was joined by Madonna the Queen of Everything, to usher in a few hand-fulls of couples, fully clad in wedding attire, and (you guessed it) marry them.

It was gays, lesbians, inter-racials, traditionals, ... but what there wasn't a dry eye in the house!

The Grammy's wanted to make history but I'm pretty sure it was just Queen Latifah. And Macklemore for sharing the stage with Madge.

Pharrell's hat was there to witness it. That's basically the moral of the story.

Francis of Buenos Aires